Love and Submission [veqvil] (Любовь и подчинение)

Hitting a wall (Oct 22, 2020 at 5:47 AM)

I've been thinking a long time about writing this post and I think it's the right move to be fully transparent here. These last few months were horrible and I am definitely going crazy taking the game apart and simply not being satisfied with both the content I'm currently working on and in the recent past.

There were moments where I was optimistic and thought "I will get there" if I just create and try out different versions of the scenes, and yet after all those attempts I end up going to bed feeling like I made the progress I can build on, only to find I scrap everything because it was horrible/unusable on the next day (It actually was horrible).

I would be lying if I said I don't feel burned out at this point.

Whenever I logged into discord, I just didn't know what to say, looking at how I am not delivering even though I am relentlessly grinding and spending my whole day on creating content for 0.08.5 for so long now.

I know people are waiting and have waited for some time now, but working on LaS now comes with pressure and stress to a point where it's almost crippling.
And that's what I want to announce in this post - I will be taking a break from working on LaS for the time being.

I'm sorry that I have to disappoint you guys, but I truly don't feel like I can keep going like this.

As for how long the pause on game development is going to be, I don't know, and to be honest, I don't want to set a date on it.

I will however still be checking into discord and maybe even make some posts about my thoughts on 3D related matters, but I really want to get a normal "relationship" with the project again, instead of waking up to a full day of failure and just feel like I am repeatedly hitting a wall.

While on the break I also plan to look into the script and I'm considering making changes to the dialogue or similar to avoid a repeat of the above. I don't want to run into something like this ever again and of course, I hope to come up with something that finally works.

I am not sure if it's simply a mindset thing or I may just be setting expectations for myself which I can't meet. Either way, I hope by taking a break I can both organize my life and get a healthy/normal sleep schedule once again. Also, I hope to get a less stressful mindset towards LaS in general (Which by all means is mostly self-imposed.).

As for the Patreon page, I've decided to leave things as they are for now as I have no idea how things are going to change (I will update the front page though).

I also completely understand that for many this is not professional nor acceptable, in that case, if you choose to drop or cancel your pledge altogether, I wholeheartedly want to thank you for checking out the game and for all previous support.

I will keep working on becoming the developer LaS and future projects need.

While this sucks, it is by no means the end. I will continue, I just can't say when that time will come.

For now, stay safe guys.